Moving Others: Reviewing Dan Pinks "To Sell Is Human"

      

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Daniel Pink's now not so new book "To Sell is Human, The Amazing Truth about What Motivates Others" connected with when I first read it in early 2013 with it's ideas reverberating with me everyday since.  I'm serious. Reading it confirmed something I knew intuitively, that "we are all in sales" and that selling isn't a dirty word, rather a reflection of basic human activity we do each and every day. 
      Pink shares how day in and day out we spend "40% of our jobs seeking to persuade others to act, choose, decide, select an idea, in some way to behave a certain way to achieve a desired outcome"  As Pink says, this is called "Non-sales selling". This behavior is basic to our existence. We all do it. Reading this rang true to me as a sole-proprietor architect and business person. 
      Everyday I seek to move people in my work, engaging in non sales selling and yes sometimes selling, and what better way to improve I found is reading Pink's book and acting on the ideas and research he shares.  Whether you realize it or not, everytime you post on Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn and the like you sell yourself, your ideas, the things you find interesting.  
      You can continue doing so without clarity or understanding of this basic fact or recognizing you do it harness the aha moment and put it to good use. As Pink says, "It turns out that we are all natural salespeople. Each of us- because we're human--has a selling instinct, which means that anyone can master the basics of moving others." He goes on to say how the traditional catch phrase ABC, "Always be Closing" no longer applies, rather could be replaced with a new ABC, "Attunement, Buoyancy and Clarity." 
      Attunement is fascinating to me for a number of reasons. Pink says "Attunement  is the ability to blend one's actions and outlook into harmony with other people." He believes you increase your power by intentionally reducing it, beginning each new encounter or interaction believing you are in a position of lower power or authority. Doing so helps you empathize with the other's viewpoint.  You walk in their shoes, understand their perspective better.
      Attunement is strengthened "by using your head as much as your heart - Top Sales people have strong emotional intelligence but they don't let their emotional connection sweep them away." You need to connect and empathize with your coworkers but not get sucked in too far, finding a balance and objectivity.
      A very direct way to explain attunement which I continue using daily is mimicking others in a self-aware, observant, respectful way.  Pink goes on to share many examples of this but for me I explain this as keenly observing those around you, picking up cues from them about how they're interacting with you and blending with them by interacting similarly rather than in sharp jarring contrast to them.  This blending translates to figures of speech, body movement and position, energy level together and more.

Why Picking Up the Phone Is A Good Thing And So Is Actually Talking

I saw a link to this HBR article "Don't Send that Email, Pick Up the Phone" by Anthony K. Tjan and read it, then took a look at the dynamic discussion string following it.  Wow! The article created quite a stir.

It should.

The article is ultimately about effective communication and learning how to wade through the chaos of our over stimulated information crazy world and remember to well....talk to each other.  Not emailing, im'ing or texting your coworker sitting 3 feet away from you or hide behind polished corporatized prose in an email or lengthy voice mails outlining all of the details of what you were hoping to discuss on the call.  

Oh, how about those times you've sent an email or a tweet even though your intuition told you to not hit the send button?  It's misery right?  Often times the after effects take weeks or what seems like an eternity to settle.

I'm guilty of doing this.  Alot.  I've done all of the above. But I'm seeking to change my ways.  It may take time but I'm committing myself to trying to do a few things.  Here's some of my response on the discussion thread for the above HBR article and what I hope to practice.  Tell me what you think?  Do you have any suggestions on communication approaches you find work for you?  How do you balance all of the digital overload and still find ways to effectively connect and communicate with others. Please share!

Here goes:


....For me it's not about how you're communicating a certain way but keeping the end goal in mind to achieve a certain outcome, action etc. 

An example; In teaching years ago to college age students, a wise teacher shared in order to effectively communicate to students (read coworkers in our context) of all educational, economic and social skill backgrounds its' important to do a few things together, rather than rely on only one teaching approach (read communication approach):

- Know your audience and their communication styles: Adjust accordingly but keep the approach as simple as possible.

- Over communicate to a multiple of senses: Some engage better by hearing and listening, some do better by reading and writing, others need images, still others might need to physically "do" the something your discussing, ie demonstrating, prototyping, visualizing. And most likely, some combination of the above is required.And then I'm challenging myself here to follow the below:   

- Be brief in writing, summarizing, requesting.  Limit your email writing to three sentences or five as the maximum you'll write.  Less is more. It's infectious by the way. Try it! 

- Listen to your tummy ( I mean intuition): If you're about to write something and it makes you feel funny, or unsure, take notice! STOP yourself! Consider alternatives such as leaving it in draft to return to later or plain just don't send it. Get a second opinion.  Or better yet, make a call or set up a face to face to discuss.  

If you fail to heed your own body telling you something you'll only goof things up for you and others.  (of course like many, I'm guilty of not listening to my inner voice and I've paid for it dearly personally and professionally)

That's all.  

What do you think?  How important is a blended communication strategy to you and your team in getting things done?  Do you miss talking to people face to face?  How effective are you when you're more direct and personal?  Do you Skype or use Facetime as an alternative to physical face to face meetings?  

Other thoughts?  Please share!

The importance of constant communication with clients

It's important to constantly talk and interact with clients, manage their expectations, requests and yes even their demands. Doing so helps keep the flow going on projects and keeps you in their mind's eye on an ongoing basis. I'm reminded of this everyday. Usually because I'm not as effective at this as I can be and suffer somewhat from not doing this as effectively as can be.

Avoiding interactions, not talking or deferring to a later time, especially in this economic climate, is not a good idea. Being direct, communicative and clear is essential to being effective. Plus it makes it easier to do business. Go figure.

Am I great at this. No way! But, I am learning how to do this better. It is certainly going to be a lifelong passion as far as I can tell. Hey just think of all the great conversations that haven't been had yet...and relationships to be built...this sounds like good business and good fun!

Any feedback from you cultural creative designer types? We're not always wired to do this well out of the box. Effective communication isn't a typical course in design or architecture schools.

So, to sum up, try to be in constant communication as much as possible with your clients and folks in your network. It really matters to be in touch. Especially as we all move together organically into our quasi social / professional networking sites like LinkedIN and Facebook, Plaxo etc. It's important to be alive on the internet and to be alive in face to face communication.